In a day and age where things seem to have gotten a lot more serious than when we remember growing up, our level of anxiety has never been bigger when it comes to where our kids are what they’re doing. But if we hover above our children and think that keeping them away from harm will protect them from what life has in store, we’re only kidding ourselves. There are many reasons to give our kids some breathing room – whether they’re toddlers or teens – and here I lay out 15 Important Reasons To Stop Being A Helicopter Parent.
15. It Increases A Child’s Self Confidence
If you’re never allowed your child to try something out, whether they will fail at it or not, and are quick to jump in to correct them – chances are they will start to believe what they’re doing is wrong or bad.
If kids are allowed to try things out, whether they’re successful in the end or not, it builds their confidence over time and let’s them know they don’t always need to rely on someone to master a skill.
14. It Fosters Problem Solving and Independent Thinking
Not having mom or dad by your side to give input into the activity you’re working on gives a child the chance to think for him or herself.
Sometimes we don’t have all the answers – and that’s a good thing – but if we as parents always find the resolution for our children it’ll dull their creativity in figure things out.
13. It Promotes Patience
Patience is a learned trait and best understood when faced with a challenging task at hand. Patience is a skill that will help your child throughout their entire life at school, in the workplace, and when facing different emotions in relationships.
To promote patience in a child, we as parents need to stop our naturally inclination to jump at the chance to help our little or big kids. Not everything is resolved within a split second and answers sometimes need to be worked hard at to be found.
12. It Teaches Mindfulness
When we put a stop to be the first to find a solution to our child’s issue, we have a great opportunity to create mindful individuals.
Although we may not physically or actively help our child get the answer they need, we can coach them verbally to pay attention to things they may not naturally pay attention to, so they can learn to be mindful of different perspectives a problem can be looked at.
11. It Shows Kids How To Be Humble
If you had someone handing you over the answers to every question you ever had, without you needing to go look it up (whether in an encyclopaedia or on Google) would you let it get to your head? Probably. It doesn’t matter whether you have little tykes or are parenting teens, they are impressionable, and you taking the lead at all times and handing them the goods won’t prep them for times they don’t have all the answers.
To teach humility, moms and dads need to take a backseat and let their kid explore what failure is. When a child finds out he or she has much to learn, and isn’t a know-it-all, they are less likely to boast about it to their peers and eventually, in business relations.
10. It Teaches The Importance Of Consistency
With all the focus on schooling and earning a good income, the concept of just showing up to the task at hand gets diluted when we talk about empowering our kids. Practice makes perfect – it’s as simple as that.
Showing up also means literally that – being present and ready to work at your goals, no matter how you feel that day. Consistency is by far the most vital tool you can equip your child with, and is only learned if you step aside and put a pause on helicopter parenting.
9. It Encourages Critical Thinking
On the flip side of finding creative solutions is critical thinking. Critical thinking is definitely not being stimulated if we hold our child’s hand through every single step of an activity, problem or homework assignment.
When we step back and give our child the space to think on their own, they
8. It Supports Better Mental Health
Think about it – if you always questioned if your actions were right or wrong, and couldn’t make a decision unless your parent was there to let you know – wouldn’t you begin to feel a bit anxious whenever you had to make a choice?
It is through seemingly innocent taking care of our kids at all times – and making decisions constantly on their behalf – that we risk our children developing anxiety and other mental health issues when it comes to living real life.
7. It Strengthens Your Parent/Child Relationship
Kids are far smarter than we admit to ourselves – and they will quickly come to know if their parent respects their voice in decision making or not.
Kids who feel respected are more likely to open conversations with us because they know they will not be shut up or ridiculed. The more conversations we have with our kids that don’t feel stifled, the more our bond is strengthened.
6. It Teaches A Child Accountability
We all have to answer to actions and teaching your child how to be accountable for their own actions is gold in terms of setting them up for a successful adulthood.
When we give our kids some breathing room to explore different avenues on their own free will, we show them just what reactions their choices will elicit in people – and surprise – this will lead to them figuring out how to handle various types of situations.
5. It Helps You As A Parent Drop Your Anxiety Level
It’s been said that helicopter parents are really just parents who can’t shake off the fears they have carried with them since their own childhood. If we haven’t dealt with certain apprehensions before becoming a mom or dad, we tend to project those same things onto our kids – whether we know it or not.
The second you decide to let your little birds fly without you constantly acting as their safety net is the second you begin your own healing journey if you feel panicked about potential dirt, scrapes or the need for perfection.
4. It Prepares Them For Life After Mom and Dad
Let’s get really real here – we won’t always be around. If you’re the epitome of the helicopter parent who is always making decision on behalf of your child and telling them what to do, have you thought about where they’ll be at when you cease to exist anymore?
More than a morbid thought, recognizing our mortality is often the wake up call many parents need to set into practice giving their kids more independence.
3. It Inspires Kids To Go For It – And Be More Financially Adept
How many successful people out there do you know that are managed by their mommy or daddy? Probably…none. It’s a scary thought to realize your kid is their own person and may come across the same hardships we once did at their age – but we so easily forget that it’s because of those cruel realizations that we’ve been able to steer our journey into a better path.
When you educate your child, acting as their mentor and coach, rather than their owner, magic happens. Their sense of adventure propels to new heights and they take leaps of confidence most other kids wouldn’t – whether that’s at school, as an entrepreneur or with their bank account.
2. It May Lead To Better Physical Health
This point drives home that we can’t expect our children to know what is nutritious or helpful for the body unless we let them embark on that journey themselves. Our expectations aren’t always our children’s realities and in no other area of life is this more true than when we speak about our children’s bodies and physical health.
There’s a fine line between being a role model and enforcing our master plan on our kids. If you keep this in mind next time you try to support your child in their goals, you’ll be one step closer to stop the hovering and what your child blossom.
1. It Forces You As A Parent To Face Your Fears
The ultimate goal to dispel our need to be extremely watchful over our kids is to become confident in their ability to act as humans on their own two feet. But there’s another goal that, if we do it right, we will achieve.
Raising kids that are kind, confident and willing to step up to the plate is something we can all become proud of. At the same time, we can look at this as a journey to face our own fears about life and finally put them to rest. We only get one chance being here – and we may as well learn alongside our kiddos.